They came to cart our couches away today. One month after declaring them a fire hazard.
Our Very Nice Custodian: We’re here for the couch.
Kids: No!!!
Me: Now guys. You know it has to go…
Kids: Why?
Me: It’s veryveryvery dangerous.
Kids: Why?
Me: Don’t you know, couches have a disease. It’s called random spontaneous combustion. Can you repeat that?
Kids: Random. [...]

